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Family traditions create belonging.
Welcoming the child you’re fostering or have adopted into your family’s traditions, however, can be a hurtful reminder of family separation.
We know that learning about and weaving the child’s family traditions, celebrations, and culture into daily family life can be immensely helpful, particularly when done in collaboration with the child’s first family. Additionally, there are great benefits to creating your own special new traditions with the child. These promote belonging and inclusion–and can strengthen bonds and security.
Below are some simple but impactful “new tradition” examples that promote closeness and bonding.
- Make up your own family celebration. A single mom who fosters teen girls shared their “home-salon day” tradition, held on the first Saturday of each month. “We put on favorite music, style one another’s hair, paint each other’s nails, do facials … all the laughing washes away any stress or worries. We love it!”
- A Rogers’ family tradition is to have impromptu dance parties when any family member is sad or having a rough day. Foster dad James says, “It’s all for one and one for all. We dance off the blues in this house. All anyone needs to do is say ‘dance,’ and we drop everything. No questions asked. It’s brought us closer together, and the Temptations would be jealous of our moves.”
- “Our family adopted a plushie armadillo named ‘Arnold’ when Sam came to live with us. Arnold is our family mascot and goes everywhere we go. We wear our matching Arnold t-shirts when we celebrate Arnold’s birthday and other milestones – like when he learned to read. We made cookies to comfort Arnold when he found out he needed glasses. He gets into a lot of mischief, but he also leaves us sweet notes. The kids refer to him as their brother. Even some of our relatives don’t know if he’s real.”
What’s key in creating new family traditions is creating something unique to your new family.
Has your family created your own special traditions to make a child feel included and part of the family? We’d love to hear about it. Send us your story at info@coalitionforcyf.org